Home improvements are stressful times for homeowners. No matter how excited you are about your new project or how long you’ve been waiting for it to happen, there is still some degree of stress and confusion that surrounds the process. There may even be times when there is a miscommunication with your Pro, or you may feel as though things are out of control. If your Pro seems to be at least trying to work with you, however, and you still feel as though things are not where they should be, you may want to take a step back and ask yourself if you're the problem in the scenario, rather than your Pro.

Skip the Blame Game

There is a common problem amongst homeowners who feel pressured, stressed, or out of control during a project. Unsure of what their role is or what they should be doing, they keep too tight a hold on their Pro, making changes too often, and blaming the Pro when those changes don’t work out the way they were intended to.

This doesn’t make you bad or wrong as the homeowner. It just means that you’re dealing with a stressful situation that you’ve never been in before, and you may not be dealing with it well. When this happens, your Pro may try to pull away, anxious to distance themselves from your stress. From your point of view, this may seem as though they are belittling you and your project when in reality they just don’t know how to meet your stress-induced needs.

When most homeowners find themselves in this situation, they have a tendency to blame the Pro. But remember, the Pro is the expert here not in dealing with you personally, but in working on your home. You need to give them space to do their job, even when things may sometimes go wrong.

Manage Your Stress

If you find yourself battling with your Pro, ask yourself a few questions:

Is the Pro attempting to communicate with you? If yes, this is a sign that they are on your side.

Are the issues coming up actually the Pro’s fault? Sometimes they are, but often they may be beyond his control. Blaming him will not speed up the process of correcting them.

Is the Pro working on fixing the issues? It may not seem as though the Pro is working quickly enough for you, but if they're working on the issue, you may need to step back and give them time. Some issues take weeks to fix, and there is little to nothing you can do except wait.

Are you feeling out of control? You hired your Pro because he is an expert at what he does. You need to trust that he will do his job to the best of his ability and step back from it yourself. You don't need to micro-manage every aspect of the project; that’s your Pro’s job. While this may be stressful for you, trying to micro-manage every detail will only slow down and harm your project. Instead, try asking for more communication with your Pro so you can feel better about what’s going on. Be assertive rather than aggressive. Assert your feelings, opinions, or beliefs instead of becoming angry, defensive, or passive. Also, you can try to take a walk, get more sleep, talk to someone, keep a project diary, do yoga, or meditate to reduce stress levels.


While sometimes it is your Pro that's the problem, sometimes the problem may be the way you’re handling the situation. Don’t be an impossible client for your Pro to deal with; work with them to find solutions to your problems so your project comes out the way it should.